Doing hard things.

As someone who works in the tech industry, you learn one thing quickly: most problems don't have solutions, only tradeoffs. You solve one problem by creating another. It might not be immediate, but it will come eventually.

I divide suffering into two ideas:

1. Suffering for seemingly no reason at all.
2. Suffering for the greater good.

Idea 1: suffering for seemingly no reason at all

I spend a lot of time wrestling with ideas I could try or execute. Possibly the hardest thing for humans, or at least for me, is moving away from what feels safe.

"I'm probably underqualified, or not smart enough to learn that skill."

"They're too important to reply to me."

"Travelling alone sucks. I need someone to do it with."

"I'd look stupid asking."

I end up living within boundaries that nobody imposed on me. I imposed them on myself. The unconventional part is accepting a little embarrassment, or the frustration of learning something new, as a fair price for a potentially valuable opportunity.

In a 2001 interview with the Academy of Achievement, Jeff Bezos explained his mindset: "I knew that if I failed I wouldn't regret that, but I knew the one thing I might regret is not ever having tried. And I knew that that would haunt me every day."

Idea 2: suffering for the greater good

Lately I have been bullish on this idea. I no longer disqualify myself from any opportunity I have in mind. I will always try. Apply for that job. Start that PhD you have been putting off. Ask out that person you think is out of your league. A few moments of discomfort when things don't go your way are far outweighed by the opportunity when they do.

If you're reading this, I hope you ask for the opportunity, introduction, help or exception you've already assumed you won't get. Let the person who can actually say yes make the decision. It sounds almost too simple. But consider how easily a prediction becomes a restriction.